Sam Bailey has revealed she ‘feels sick’ at the thought of disciplining her son after failing to realise he had autism.
The X Factor winner’s son Tommy, 11, was diagnosed with autism and dyspraxia last year after she and husband Craig Pearson got him assessed after noticing he was ‘different’ to other children his age.
And in a new interview, Sam has opened up on her guilt on not realising her son’s condition earlier, admitting: ‘We didn’t have a clue’.
Didn’t realise: Sam Bailey has revealed she ‘feels sick’ at the thought of disciplining her son after failing to realise he had autism (pictured in 2018)
Speaking to Closer magazine, the singer revealed that over the years she noticed how Tommy preferred his own space, was averse to sports at school and had difficulties with things like tying his shoelaces or learning to ride his bike.
She told the publication: ‘It makes me feel sick that we were telling him off. We’d say things like, “You can’t ride a bike yet; you can’t do your shoelaces up”. We didn’t have a clue!’
Discussing his condition further, Sam added that she’s working on getting Tommy everything he needs, adding that the realisation of Tommy’s condition is a learning curve for the whole family.
Her boy: The X Factor winner’s son Tommy, 11, (second to right) was diagnosed with autism and dyspraxia last year after she and husband Craig Pearson got him assessed after noticing he was ‘different’ to other children his age
She said: ‘Tommy hates noise, so I’ve got him some noise-cancelling headphones. I feel terribly guilty as a parent for not picking up his behaviour sooner. I’ve always known Tommy was different in certain ways, but I didn’t see it as a mental health issue or anything like that.
‘I’m going to try to get him everything he deserves. We’re all learning, it’s like I’ve started over again.’
Sam also told how lockdown has been ‘tough’ for everyone, with Tommy – who was diagnosed in July – spending much of his time in his bedroom, which is his ‘safe place’.
No idea: In a new interview, Sam has opened up on her guilt on not realising her son’s condition earlier, admitting: ‘We didn’t have a clue’ (pictured in 2017)
She added that due to Tommy preferring to spent him in his room, her attempts at getting him to do school work proved to be a ‘nightmare’.
Sam and Craig also share daughters Brooke, 15, and Miley, six.
The performer, who won the tenth series of X Factor in 2003, recently appeared on Loose Women where she told how ’emotional’ it makes her to think of her son’s delayed diagnosis, and that he’s struggled with bullying and ‘feeling different’ at school.
‘It makes me feel sick to my stomach and it makes me emotional,’ said Sam. ‘I feel so guilty I didn’t pick up on it sooner.
Guilt: I feel terribly guilty as a parent for not picking up his behaviour sooner. I’ve always known Tommy was different in certain ways, but I didn’t see it as a mental health issue or anything like that
‘He’s had a really bad time at school with bullying and feeling a little bit different to everyone else and to this day I just wish I’d known. ‘
Sam admitted the diagnosis has been an ‘eye-opener’ and that some of her son’s behaviour started to make sense after discovering his autism.
‘I probably say about four years ago’, said Sam, ‘Tommy has always been a really emotional kid he’s always had a naivety about him.
Safe place: Sam also told how lockdown has been ‘tough’ for everyone, with Tommy – who was diagnosed in July – spending much of his time in his bedroom, which is his ‘safe place’
Explaining the signs of autism she missed, she told that her son had ‘always’ had issues with food, and didn’t like different food touching on his plate, and that he would ‘stick his fingers in his ears’ if there was a song he didn’t like.
She went on: ‘He really has an issue with loud music, loud noises, he didn’t like hand dryers, it feels like someone has taken the blinkers off.
‘It’s like I have a new child, it’s been an eye-opener.’
The singer decided to get an autism assessment privately because the NHS waiting list was too long, with a friend still waiting for a result 12 months after being assessed.
Talk: Sam recently appeared on Loose Women where she told how ’emotional’ it makes her to think of her son’s delayed diagnosis, and that he’s struggled with bullying and ‘feeling different’ at school.
Family: Sam admitted the diagnosis has been an ‘eye-opener’ and that some of her son’s behaviour started to make sense after discovering his autism
In order to fund the assessment, Sam did online gigs where she had a ‘virtual tip jar’ where viewers could donate money, though she never told them it was in order to fund her son’s private diagnosis, which she was determined to secure before he started secondary school in September.
‘I knew I wanted answers, I wanted him to have the best experience,’ she explained.
‘I didn’t tell anyone and I did a live every week and wasn’t telling anyone the money I was getting was paying for my son’s assessment.
‘Two weeks before schools broke up in July I got it and it cost a lot of money, but I worked my absolute bum off doing it so I could get what my son deserved. ‘
Action: The singer decided to get an autism assessment privately because the NHS waiting list was too long, with a friend still waiting for a result 12 months after being assessed